Stop this government backed monopoly

Like most men, I do like a good list. I could real off my top 3 greatest footballers, my top 3 meals, my top 3 films, my top 3 just about anything. Alas this is a political blog and not a Nick Hornby novel so I will save you from the controversial news that Teddy Sheringham is the greatest footballer of all time and that Kate Moss narrowly beats Sienna Miller to number one female in the world. My lists are subject to change every now and then, of course, as a comedian starts to sounds dated and a new comedy genius arrives on the block, for example. But there is one list that has stayed constant for many years now and that is my top 3 most hated companies. In reverse order they are:

At number three - for making me feels slightly queasy every time I walk past them; for not actually filling you up, they merely stop you being hungry for ten minutes; for having the some of the most intrusive branding and advertising ever seen and for introducing the most unpleasant character in to the social conscience - Ronald's McDonalds.

At number two - for making my life a misery when I really could have done without it and for tricking me as a school boy in to signing up by offering me a visa card when I couldn’t be trusted with a £5 note, let alone a credit card - the Natwest bank.

However, these two pale in to insignificance compared with my number one all time worst company. I could write books on the number of times they literally had me shouting out load in anger. Step forward, South West Trains.

Now the reason I am telling you all this is because I feel like I have a duty to spread the word about South West Trains to save others like me from the pain and the misery that they have brought upon me. If at any point you have a choice between taking a South West Train or any other form of transport, I suggest you take any other form of transport. If I have saved only one person from SWT (and in doing so lost them the profit they make on their over priced tickets) then my work will not have been in vein.

Today’s Times will give an idea as the idiocy that goes on within the powers that be’s numbskull heads. In a leaked commercially sensitive memo (I wonder why it was marked commercially sensitive?!) South West Trains has told all its guards that it is introducing a system under which they will be judged according to the amount they collect in penalties. Not only that, but these guards will be disciplined and possibly dismissed if they show discretion to passengers who are unable to buy tickets before boarding because of long queues at stations. Have you ever tried buying a ticket at Waterloo station during rush hour? It takes a good twenty minutes and the frequency of the SWT timetable means that if you do miss your train you are likely to have to end up sitting in McDonald’s cursing your luck that two of the world’s worst companies can operate under one roof. What happened to the good old days when a guard was there to help and if you were in a rush he could sell you the ticket on board? I do not see the problem here.

Well, maybe I do but don’t want to take any blame away from SWT. The truth is, the rail franchise system is a mess and has been a complete balls up. The reason SWT are so desperate to catch us all out is to make back the money from the overly regulated and overly expensive price SWT paid for running the line. It is also an opportunity for them to take advantage of the monopoly they have on that line. I know that many would say if you don’t like them you don’t have to use them and that it is not a monopoly, but trust me if I could avoid them I would. It is time the railways had a proper shake up and Brian Souter (Chief Exec of SWT’s parent company Stage Coach) had his free reign over exploiting his employees and customers taken away.